Denis Ashton/Ashton Records Lyrics

All Lyrics: © Ashton Records/Denis Ashton

“Deadbeat Rock Stars”

They worship these deadbeat rock stars
Their lies as empty as their hearts are
This is the end
This is the end of your career, bitch

I know I'm on your blacklist
You can put me in your boldest font
Labyrinths of pleasure
You've lost all your treasure
Cracking under pressure

Oh, you were so high and mighty
Now you're like the rest of us

I used to defend you
Let's not pretend you don't know
Who you are or what you've done
You fucking had all your fun

Here's some accountability for you
For all the bullshit that you do

Just give it up and confess
Save yourself the stress
You were soulless from the start
Your mug shot should be cover art

Just how many victims do you have now?
You fucking sold your own fans out

I know I'm on your blacklist
You can put me in your boldest font
Labyrinths of pleasure
You've lost all your treasure
Cracking under pressure

Obsessed with your innocence
Drowned in cognitive dissonance
So ashamed of brainwashed me
This is my apology to the victims and survivors
*I'm so sorry I called you liars*

Now as far as you're concerned
I don't think you'll ever fucking learn

I defended
I respected
I contended all for you

Life in prison, they shouldn't even bury you
Motherfucker, you are fucking through
You don't even deserve a grave
I heard you're what the vultures crave

I know I'm on your blacklist
You can put me in your boldest font
Labyrinths of pleasure
You've lost all your treasure
Cracking under pressure

*In this part of the song, I take accountability for my words and give an apology. This is not an excuse to justify myself, but I want to make clear that as far as I can recall, I never called anyone making assault allegations a liar directly to their face or even in a message. But I did say that the accusers (some I mentioned by name, some not) were liars. Just not directly to them. I was a brainwashed teen under the delusion that my musical hero at the time was an innocent man. I was still wrong, and I apologize to them all again incase I haven't already done so.*

“Raspberries”

Wish I had...
Wish I had a...
Yeah, yeah...

Wish I had...
Yeah, yeah...
Wish I...

Wish I had a hundred bad chicks
And a fucking bachelor pad
Got some girlies in my phone
And all of them are bad

And I don't usually brag
'Cuz I remember plans I had
With my timing not so ironclad
But I still chase them like I'm mad

Yeah, uh
I remember having two dollars in the bank
Had no fucking job
But still needed the drink

Had to put that shit down
No more stumbling around town
'Cuz I want the crown
Not end up in a burial gown, yeah (uh, yeah)

Oh, I want to taste her like a motherfucking raspberry
But I won't be chasing, I ain't on that fucking "Tom & Jerry"
Strawberries, blueberries, want to eat them off you, baby
I hope I'm not too wild for you to come and be my lady

Seafoam green short shorts, tube top
Navel pierced, let's go and turn it up a notch
Used to pop Xans, but now I'm popping bands
When I used to drink I almost got blackmailed and scammed

I put gold plates on my wrist
Where I used to have two slits (two slits)

Uh, we can roll up to the club
But I won't be dancing
You can hop inside the whip
Have a seat like I'm Chris Hansen

Shorts so short that you can see the pockets
Yeah, you make me want to plug the socket
We can go and make it happen
We can touch it down like Madden

Say she want to throw it back
Now I need a vasectomy
But I might not be your cup of tea
'Cuz I won't get down on one knee

But my flow go colder than a morphine drip
Even colder than my new fucking whip
She say she getting wet, need a caution sign
We wouldn't want to break a hip or spine, yeah

Seafoam green short shorts, tube top
Navel pierced, let's go and turn it up a notch
Used to pop Xans, but now I'm popping bands
When I used to drink I almost got blackmailed and scammed

I put gold plates on my wrist
Where I used to have two slits (two slits)

I put gold plates on my wrist
Where I used to have two slits

Seafoam green short shorts, tube top
Navel pierced, let's go and turn it up a notch
Used to pop Xans, but now I'm popping bands
When I used to drink I almost got blackmailed and scammed

I put gold plates on my wrist
Where I used to have two slits (two slits)

Used to pop Xans, but now I'm popping bands
When I used to drink I almost got blackmailed and scammed

“Anymore”

Goodbye my love
Goodbye because
I (I) can't (can't) love (love)
You anymore

Anymore

I've been losing my health and my sleep
Oh, this is fucking draining

All of your lies
Your disguise
Those pretty eyes
Waiting for the sunrise

I've lost track of how long I've waited

There's glaciers in your eyes
And pollution in mine

You bring nothing but pain and grief and heartache
No, I can't save you from your Hell

I've been lying to myself
Flipping through the pages of a chapter
I just don't want to read anymore

Anymore
Anymore
Anymore
Anymore

I've been losing my health and my sleep
Oh, this is fucking draining

All of your lies
Your disguise
Those pretty eyes
Waiting for the sunrise

I've lost track of how long I've waited

There's glaciers in your eyes
And pollution in mine

Our communication is dead like our affection

All the love and all the joy
Came from this sick brain
Same thing with the pain
I'm done burning here alone

I don't need you anymore
But you're so hard not to adore

I wanted to love you
To love you for all time
Time
Time that I've lost
That was the cost

Shallow and infatuated
Brought this all upon myself
Expectations I've created
Have become my prison cell

It turns out that the only lies
Are the ones I've told to myself

The dark seeds of attachment sprout
As our trees begin to bloom
Bearing more fruit than we can carry
We've got to cut them down

Like a phone call that never came
This just turned out all the same
You filled up the hole inside my chest
But now you drain me just like all the rest
Goodbye

“Know You”

Roman/Logan:
Hey!

Aren't you supposed to be working on that EP?

Denis:
What, mixing it?

Roman/Logan:
Yeah!

“Leagues Below The Sea”

Leagues below the sea
Nothing under me
Leagues below the sea
There’s nothing down beneath

I’ve dived in so deep
That I can't see the surface
Don't wanna be caught dead
Floating in the water

Lost all sight of land
Will the seabed become my deathbed?

As I watch my
Watch myself drown

Drowning in the sea
It’s dark as could be
Nothing down beneath
There’s nothing left to plea

There’s no Leviathan swimming down here
And no Jonah to be found
The only belly of the beast
Is the belly of the sea

No pearls, no treasure
Can withstand the pressure

I get crushed by the forces of the depths‍
As I descend down this wretched trench, whoa oh oh

Bloodshot eyes feel the sting of the brine
And I'm running out of fucking time, yeah

Sinking deeper now
Descending further down
This wretched pit will be the death of me

Pull me further down
I know you want to hear me squirm
Want to watch me burn
But both my lungs collapsed
As the water filled the gaps
So I can’t make a sound

As I watch my
Watch myself drown

Drowning in the sea
It’s dark as could be
Nothing down beneath
There’s nothing left to plea

There’s no Leviathan swimming down here
And no Jonah to be found
The only belly of the beast
Is the belly of the sea

No pearls, no treasure
Can withstand the pressure

I'm not sending out this signal just in vain
I want to express my pain
I know my lungs know
Nobody can hear them scream
As they try to claw their way out of my chest

This is drowning
This is panic
Watch myself seep into the Challenger Deep

How can I breathe?
How can I withstand this pressure?
Crushed into smithereens

So many leagues below the sea
Nothing here to see
I'm deep as could be
There's nothing down beneath

These chains, they bind bricks to both my feet
These ears go deaf from the pressure of the depths

My body’s getting crushed by the pressures of the trench
This is the pressure of the Mariana

“Sick"

Chasing this rush, this addiction
Couldn’t tell that I was hooked
Chasing this rush, this addiction
I was hooked right from the start

Gets hot as Hell when they walk by
Attraction at an all-time high
Melting like hot sweat that drips
How do you feel between those hips?

Got my eyes in all the wrong places
In my head, we’re flying through all the bases
Maybe right now my mind’s just stuck
But who really gives a fuck?

You feel like an overdose
So come wipe my mind and be my blackout

Promise that I’ll leave a mess
Wreck this shit, at this I’m best
That reminds me, let me get wrecked
Still king of the party last time I checked

And maybe I’m a little uncivil
Break and bash, throw and smash by the fistful
Don’t live by the rules because I’m lawless
Never said I’m faultless

But you gotta admit I’m the life of the party
Show up first, I don’t want to be tardy
Wouldn’t want to miss the chance to get fucked up
Pour it straight in my cup

Laughing in the mirror
Then I’m falling to the bathroom floor
Chasing this rush, this addiction
From the first few drinks, could I even tell that I was
Wildest fucking night of my entire life (Hooked?)

You’re an eye pop, jaw drop, head spin thrill
Want to taste you ‘til I’m ill
And I know I’ll never get my fill
But you can pour drinks down my throat until

I get holes burned through my throat
Slam it down ‘til I explode
Enough liquor to ride a boat
No need to swim, just watch me float

Yeah, I’m sick, come be my pill
Got legs to die for and a face to kill
I’ve been trading vices like they’re hot on the black market
I get gone, faded, ‘til I’m laying on the carpet

And maybe I’m a little uncivil
Break and bash, throw and smash by the fistful
Don’t live by the rules because I’m lawless
Never said I’m faultless

But you gotta admit I’m the life of the party
Show up first, I don’t want to be tardy
Wouldn’t want to miss the chance to get fucked up
Pour it straight in my cup

Dizzy, I call all of my friends
Ask them if I’m even awake
It’s no secret
I can’t hold my liquor very well
Room spins ‘til I’m nauseous

Ran and slipped in my own vomit
Shotgun blast across the room
Almost broke my fucking neck
Tryna hit the lights to check

“Indulge”

In... dulge...
In....dulge...
In... dulge...

Indulge

In... dulge...
In... dulge...

"Adrenaline

Alcohol"

Adrenaline (Hey!)
Don’t stop
Audio
And alcohol

Don’t end my pulse tonight
‘Cuz you feel just right
Hey!

Drinking ‘til I’m dizzy
I bleed pure fucking adrenaline
When I go pour up and sip
I try not to puke and slip

Empty bottles of cheap whiskey
Hold cigars and finished cigarettes
Smoking ‘til my head spins
This is where my rush begins (rush begins)

Hey!
This is pure filth tonight

Alright, fuck this shit
Come on let’s drive off
We’ll tear this place apart
Don’t know where to start

So let’s set these drinks up
Another rule to fuck
Pour it straight in my cup
So I can run amok

So we’ll pour these drinks in
And I’ll try to keep it down
As we watch that room spin

And we bleed pure adrenaline

We’ll take shots in the parking lot
We’ll pour it in ‘til the bottles drop
No need to mix
We’re set straight either way

I love everything about you
And I hold these feelings true
All I’ve done is burden you
And it hurts so much to see this through

You slowly found your way inside
When I saw you shine your light
When I look at you, I see myself
And I want to drown in your arms tonight

You’re perfect to me
I feel the same now
I never gave you a chance
And I am so sorry

I’ll rip this place into fucking pieces
Take a drink
And as the ounces in my cup increase

It’s pretty fucking clear
That the only thing I hear
Is calls and requests to slow down
But I can never get enough
I hope they don’t kick me the fuck out

And I’ll let that drink swim
I think I’ve lost my head
Is there a bottle that it comes in?
A cup to pour it in?

So tell me, Mr. Bottle
Do you think I’ve had too much?
Guess I shouldn’t have asked
‘Cuz I don’t give a fuck

And I don’t even care if it comes in a glass
I’m a walking train wreck
It’s not a night to keep class
And I say fuck needles
But I’ll take shots any day

No need to hold me back

I love everything about you
And I hold these feelings true
All I’ve done is burden you
And it hurts so much to see this through

You slowly found your way inside
When I saw you shine your light
When I look at you, I see myself
And I want to drown in your arms tonight

You’re perfect to me
I feel the same now
I never gave you a chance
And I am so sorry

I’ll fold my arms
Pretend that you’re here
Pretend that you’re here
Pretend you’re here

I want to hold you
I’ll fold my arms
Pretend that you’re here
I’ll pretend you’re here

All I’ve done is burden you

“Bitten

(I Burn & I Fall)"

What comes in the evening
Leaves me at night
Bites only skin-deep
But it just isn’t right

And it never stays
Just minutes at a time
But 4 days feels like 4 weeks
And she looks like a dime

*C2H60*
Your taste, my kidney
Could it be that we took too much of each other?
Every single time?

And I just can’t hold you down
My organs, they’re drowned
Yet how is it that you dry me out to dust?

I’m bitten, I’m tempted
I just need a break
She tastes like poison
She can kiss like a snake

I’m tempted to submit
Let myself be bit
This temptation is crippling
And now the serpent’s tongue is lit

Smells like death
Feels like escape
I take in her poison
Behind the drape

I want to taste you unrefined
I want to feel you, I’m inclined
Just rest those fangs upon my neck
My sweetheart, I won’t decline

My body’s screaming for recovery
You always leave me vomiting
Your taste is damn disgusting
But I just won't decline

You feel just like adultery
Just sweep away reality
‘Cuz I’m washed away by time
So come and bind me, smash my knees
And just bite me one last time

Now she comes daily
Drags her fingers through my skin
I’m starting to question
If each time is a sin

She comes in the noon
She stays ‘til the evening
Wants to come daily
This condition is ailing

My organs, you beat me
You’re starting to hurt me
Don’t you know you deserve me?
Don’t you ever desert me

I’m tempted to submit
Let myself be bit
This temptation is crippling
And now the serpent’s tongue is lit

Smells like death
Feels like escape
I take in her poison
Behind the drape

I want to taste you unrefined
I want to feel you, I’m inclined
Just rest those fangs upon my neck
My sweetheart, I won’t decline

My body’s screaming for recovery
You always leave me vomiting
Your taste is damn disgusting
But I just won't decline

You feel just like adultery
Just sweep away reality
‘Cuz I’m washed away by time
So come and bind me, smash my knees
And just bite me one last time

I want to rip my fucking face off
Pull out my fucking hair
Tear this fucking chair
Clench my nails deep into it
Lose my mind for a little bit

I try to seep into my chair
Unclench my hands, and stop pulling out my hair
As I plaster the walls with my eye’s glare
And my lungs spit out a prayer

My neck falls victim to her fang
As her bites breach through the epidermis
My veins thirst for the rush
And my flesh hungers for that ghostlike state

I want to binge on you
And I remember our first night
I just ignored the blood moon
Found the hatred in your eye

I burn ‘til I suffer
I walk just to fall
I wanted to have you
I wanted it all

Ethanol, you destroy me
You only hurt me as I depleted you
You kill me minutes at a time
I took your health, so now take mine

I just need a break
I told her "30 days"
She’s all that’s on my mind
I’ve been bitten by the snake

*Note: When I wrote this song, I misread & misunderstood the chemical formula. It's actually "C2H6O" (the letter "O" stands for "Oxygen"), INSTEAD of "C2H60" with the number 60 (sixty).

I just liked the way it sounded because "sixty" rhymes with "kidney". C2H6O is the chemical formula for ethanol.

There are certainly NOT 60 (sixty) hydrogen atoms in ethanol.*

"Citrus"

Between a 1 and 10, she’s a panic attack
She’s got my eyes, and I don’t want them back
And I’d speak up, but I’d never have the guts
She’s as smooth as smoke

She’s pure
She’s pure
She’s pure dopamine to me
But she’s got me nervous
Shaking like a hangover

Your anatomy attracts me
And I’m aroused by your allure
You’ve got a figure for flirtation
Want to feel you to the core

But you blow up over bullshit
And you say I tell you lies
And when I try to cut these ties, you rub and touch my thighs
She reels me right back in, each and every time

Wild with no restraint
Is how I like to stay
Spit it back in their face
I will disobey
And I’ll shout it out from my lungs

You’ll never censor me

You might not understand my art
Tried to silence me from the start
But freedom is God-given

You’ve got an allure for arousal
An anatomy for attraction
She drags me around town
She’s got me whipped to satisfaction

And we’re not even official
But we just can’t get along
We’re both in love with our vices
And "us" together feels so wrong

And if they’re so in love with their law and order
Why not just go fuck ‘em both?

You taught us suppression of thought from a young age
Tell me what’s okay
And not okay to say
Censor my art?
Not to-fucking-day

Your body rhymes like fluency
Hot words ignite the fire
But when I tell you the truth
Then you call me a liar

And when I say that I can’t stay
You kiss and flirt me back your way
You’re pure torture to me, giving me anxiety
And if guys like us are overrated
Why drag us back to the hell that you’ve created?

Citrus, and the smell of your hair
All I can do is fantasize
As I lie here on my own tonight

Your short black dress reveals your legs
You’re temptation itself tonight
Sparking passion in me bright as moonlight

Your sweet voice echoes through my head
Swishing from ear to ear
As I lie alone in bed
And as passion bleeds, my lust exceeds
You’re temptation itself tonight

Leather, and the smell of my cologne
Do they make your head spin?
As you inhale me through your skin

And I’d say that I want you here with me
Until the very end
But if I did, I’d be lying
You’re temptation itself tonight